Christmas gifts

The Xmas gifts I've bought：
Blender $49.95
Soft toy $14.95
Harry Potter complete set $88
Clarins gift set $49
Lego blocks $6.95
Wood Worx Monster Car $19.95
Gift bags $4
Sydney Directory $9.99
Other Books $35.90
Shisedo gift set $76.50
Singlet $8
Avon Gift Set 29.99
Avon lotion/perfume $20
Xmas Card/wrapping $8
Chocolate $28
Backyard Tennis $19.85

Xmas gifts I've received:
Chocolate X 6 (Everyone knows that I'm a chocolate worm now!)
Candle
Honey Bath Gel
......
To be continued ...

Our Office's donation to Salvation Army

Fwd; True Friendship "Aussie Style--" None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those piss weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card -- Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get pickled and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

5.... When you are worried -- I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until t you stop whining.

6... When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.

7... When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy backside, but I'll help you up.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
because you are my friend.

Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "

" What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

" Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour
and material imaginable.

"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from ."

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied: "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple. ...
The Catholic type supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and,
The Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!...
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!...
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...