FW: Court Ruling for a 7yr old boy

Federal Court Ruling from the Sydney Morning Herald, Australia A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when hech allenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boyhas a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grand parents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the South Sydney Rugby League team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capableof beating anyone.

Divorce cakes

Fwd: Diamond Covered Mercedes

THE CAR COSTS $4.8 MILLION AND IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT, YOU HAVE TO PAY $1000.
IT BELONGS TO PRINCE ALWALEED FROM SAUDI ARABIA. It is his 38th car!

Diamond Covered Mercedes of Prince Waleed:

Remember this when gasoline hits $5.00 a gallon.

You paid for this one.

Average pay climbs to $58,448 a year

(By Nicki Bourlioufas and wires)

THE average weekly wage in Australia is now $1124, after growing by a solid 4.8 per cent over the year to February, taking the average annual wage to $58,448.

But men still earn a lot more than women. The average annual male wage, excluding overtime, is now $61,958 compared to $52,166 for women. Both of those pay packets were up 4.8 per cent from a year ago.

The quarterly seasonally-adjusted pace of average weekly ordinary time earnings (AWOTE) rose 1.1 per cent in the three months to February, Australian Bureau of Statistics data released today shows.

The annual rate of wages growth remains above the Reserve Bank of Australia's (RBA) perceived "line in the sand" at 4.5 per cent.

In the twelve months to February 2008, full-time adult total earnings rose by 4.4 per cent for males and 5.2 per cent for females in trend terms.

The strong growth in private-sector wages reflects a booming economy. Employers are having to pay employees more and more as a national skills shortage raises the price of labour keep unemployemnt low. The jobless rate stands at just 4.2 per cent.

The composition of the AWOTE series tends to make it volatile and why the RBA prefers to use the wage price index - released yesterday - as one of its main guides to wages growth.

That index proved surprisingly benign, given a tight labour market, increasing at its slowest pace since September 2006 for an annual rate of 4.1 per cent in the year to March.

This was down a notch from the 4.2 per cent growth seen during 2007.

Last week the Reserve Bank said that while the current level of interest rates was appropriate, it indicated that it would have little tolerance to second-round effects from high inflation, such as rising wages.

(Source: news.com.au)

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds.

I could not believe this!!! It is from an orthopaedic surgeon...........

This will boggle your mind and you will keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!

1. Without anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY......) and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

Before and After Marriage

Fwd: WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

Men Are Just Happier People--
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky..
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.

Fwd: Meaty bites dog food - naughty but funny

I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and was standing in line at the check-out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch...why else would I buy dog food??

Some interesting information for Easter

Easter this year is: Sunday March 23, 2008

• As you may know, Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20).
• This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar.
• Found out a couple of things you might be interested in.
• Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare.
• This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see for the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!

Here are the facts:

• The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you're 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).
• The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!

Fwd: Cute Old Lady

All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked,
'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'

80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'

I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.

'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'

'Ninety-eight.' she replied.

'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:



'I outlived the bitches.'

Fish with pistachio herb crust

Lactose-free, egg-free

Serve 6

1 cup fresh breadcrumbs (3-4 slices bread)
30g flat-leaf parsley leaves (2 small handfuls)
20g basil leaves (1 small handful)
1 clove garlic
1/3 cup unsalted pistachios
1 teaspoon sea salt
?cup olive oil
6 x 150g firm white fish fillets (I used Rock Ling)

Use a food processor to crumb the bread. Add the parsley, basil, garlic and pistachios and pulse until combined but the texture is still rough. Pour in the oil and pulse again to moisten crumbs. Line a baking tray with baking paper and place the fish fillets on the paper. Divide the pistachio mixture between the fillets and press down well to make a firm crust. Cover with plastic film and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat the grill to medium and the oven to 180 degree. Place the tray under the grill and cook the fish until the crust is starting to turn golden, about 3 minutes. Transfer tray to oven and bake for 10 minutes or until fish is cooked through.

Serve with lemon wedges, diced roasted potatoes and a green salad.

Notes:Other types of firm white fish include Blue-eye, Flake or Mirror Dory.
My fishmonger recommends buying Gummy Flake as it is a smallish shark; concerns re mercury levels significantly reduced.
Make this recipe gluten-free by using gluten-free bread for the breadcrumbs.The Rock Ling I used was quite thick and took ages to cook, so I sacrificed one piece of beautifully crusted fish (no prize for guessing whose piece) to keep checking for doneness.

(Source: kidspot.com.au)

The truest truth. - Why it's better to be the boss?

Super fast tuna fried rice

Gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free

Serves 4

1 teaspoon olive oil
2 eggs
4 rashers bacon, diced
1 small onion, diced
1 cup frozen peas
425g tin tuna
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 cups cooked rice
Coriander or chives to garnish

Heat oil in a wok or large frypan, break eggs into wok and stir with a spoon to break up the yolks. Cook for a minute, flip the omelette over and cook the other side for a minute. Transfer omelette to a plate and slice into bite size strips. Return wok to heat and stir fry bacon and onion until onion is soft, about 3 minutes. Add peas, cook for two minutes. Add tuna and soy sauce, combine with other ingredients, then add rice and egg strips. Stir well to combine and heat through. Serve immediately garnished with herbs.

(Source: kidspot.com.au)

How to build a better butt

(by Paula Goodyer)

If anyone deserves a medal for services to healthy curves it's Jennifer Lopez, whose rear end reminds us that women are meant to carry extra weight around their lower body. It's nature's hedge against famine and, compared to weight that hangs around the waist, a much healthier kind of fat.

But what if nature has been too generous with the famine protection? Can you trim the surplus fat? The first thing to know is that you can't spot reduce, says Sydney personal trainer Heidi Dening. The only way to shift extra weight from anywhere is to eat better and do regular exercise such as running, walking, cycling or strength training.

"The weight won't immediately fall off your butt - usually your face loses it first, followed by your boobs and then your bum - so while you'll be trimmer all round you could still be shaped like a pear," Dening says.

Walking or running help peel weight off but the trick to creating a shapelier rear end is strength training to exercise the butt muscle, the gluteus maximus or "glutes". This means using the weight of your body, a dumbbell or a barbell to work the muscle harder - no bad thing, given that getting on and off a chair is often the only workout glutes ever get.

If you don't have knee problems, the best exercise is a squat, Dening says. You stand with your feet hip-width apart, knees slightly bent and toes facing forward - make sure you can still see your toes over your knees as you bend. Lower your butt as if you were sitting on a chair but don't let your knees don't go over your toes. Squeeze your glutes, using them to push yourself back into an upright position - driving your heels into the ground as you come up makes the glutes work harder.

Dening suggests aiming for three sets of 20 squats with a little break in between. "It's good to keep going to the point where you can't do another squat," she says, adding that once squats get easier you graduate to doing squats with dumbbells. "You'll get the best results if you learn to do the moves correctly, either with a personal trainer or at a gym class first." Other good moves for glutes? Cycling and climbing stairs. "But as you put your foot on the step be conscious of squeezing the glutes, otherwise the leg does all the work."

If you're heading into your late 40s and think your only worry will be middle-aged spread, that's because no one has warned you about vanishing butt syndrome. As estrogen levels shrink around menopause so does some of the padding around your bum, leaving you with a space in your jeans where the curve used to be. "If you've lost shape there at middle age, strength training can help you regain it, though it might take time," Dening says. "And if you haven't reached middle age yet, strength training can help maintain the shape of your butt."

(Source: smh)

Bored husband

Never take a man shopping!!!!

Dear Mrs. Murry,Our store is considering banning your family from ever shoppingwith us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMORe:

Complaints

15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minuteintervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tamponssection.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told theshoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cryand asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.10. November

10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked theclerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna look" usingdifferent size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumesthe foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!And; last, but not least!

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

10 ways to live to be 100

What are the secrets to longevity? Dr Maoshing Ni has an answer, or ten, in his new book

1. Take long walks for a longer life
Most centenarians walk for at least thirty minutes a day. Walking can considerably reduce risks of stroke and heart disease, according to research. It can also boost levels of good cholesterol.

2. Slim down with soup
Eat nutritious soup at least once a day. Low salt soup re-hydrates as it nourishes and flushes waste from your system. Lose more weight than those who eat the same number of calories but don't eat soup. Avoid canned soups which are loaded with salt and chemicals.

3. Drink pure filtered water
Hundreds of pollutants are regularly found in drinking water from various sources. Your safest bet is to use a wide-spectrum water filtration system.

4. Clean your fruit and vegies thoroughly
Scrub your produce in a mixture of salt and hot water to remove external layers of pesticides, fungicides and wax. Go for organic-grown produce whenever possible.

5. Speed up your metabolism
An amino acid ‘L-carnitine’ manufactured in your liver can promote fat loss, increase circulation to the brain and boost energy production in muscle cells. The following foods are rich in L-carnitine: meats, fish, poultry, wheat, avocado, milk and fermented soybeans.

6. Protect your eye-sight with spinach
Studies show that spinach really does help you see better. It contains special antioxidants that protect the eye from age-related macular degeneration.

7. Look and feel younger with nuts and seeds
A handful of nuts and seeds everyday is fantastic for improving circulation and muscle tone. They contain the amino acid ‘arginine’ which is useful in fighting heart disease, impotence, infertility and high blood pressure.

8. Eat more during the day and less at night
Research suggests that if you eat your daily protein and fat at breakfast you will have more energy and tend to lose weight. If however, you eat those same things at dinner time you might tend to gain weight, increase blood pressure and risk of heart disease.

9. Be a vegetarian on weekdays, a carnivore on weekends
Generally, vegetarians suffer fewer degenerative diseases than carnivores. For a perfectly healthy and balanced approach, limit your intake of red meat to only weekends.

10. Stimulate the brain with mental fitness
Fickle memory, diminishing concentration and slowed response time are caused by decreased blood flow to the brain and the loss of brain cells. To stimulate brain cell activity you could find new hobbies, learn new things and attempt cross-word puzzles.

(Source: Blackmores)

What a million dollars used to buy you ...

Author: Kate Nancarrow
Date: January 16, 2008
Publication: The Age

We take a look at the Melbourne market over the past 30 years to see how far a million dollars used to stretch. You may be surprised.
5
Five years ago, $1 million bought a 50-square Templestowe home with six bedrooms, balcony, double garage, tennis court, pool and home office. Today, a similar home would sell for $1.5 million, estimates Peter Fort of Fletchers in Doncaster East.
10
Ten years ago, $1 million bought a 41 square home on Beaconsfield Parade with beachfront views, five bedrooms, double garage, pool house, heated jet pool and spa. Today, a similar home would sell for $5-$6 million, estimates Michael Coen, of Hocking Stuart in Albert Park.
20
Twenty years ago, $1 million bought a 45 square Hawthorn home with five bedrooms, tennis court and swimming pool. Today, a similar home would sell for between $2.5 million and $5 million, says Julian Tonkin of Collins Simms in Hawthorn.
30
Thirty years ago, in 1977, there were no sales figures of $1 million. A 91-square Toorak house with six bedrooms, pool house, basement double garage and pool; and a 94-square Toorak house with five bedrooms, tennis court and separate servants quarters each sold for between $500,000 and $600,000. Sales in Toorak for six-bedroom homes have been from about $5.5 million to $11 million this year. Exceptional sales in Toorak included a home for $18 million, says Fiona Evans of Biggin & Scott, Prahran.

(Source: Land Victoria, a division of the Department of Sustainability and Environment)

Ever feel like this?

Click it...

Before and after 6 beers

Click the above image...

Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrangea divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"

POLISH: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

POLISH: "It made of concrete."

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

POLISH: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"

POLISH: "All my relations still in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

POLISH: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"

POLISH: "No, I always up before her."

LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"

POLISH: "No, she white."

LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"

POLISH: "She going to kill me."

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"

POLISH: "I got proof.LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"

POLISH: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put onshelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say,

'Polish Remover'."